Insecurities Are Loud

"Confidence is silent; insecurities are loud." ~Anonymous

When you are confident , your mind does not feel the need to scream it to the world. You are comfortable with yourself, complacent, and can go about your day with not a care in the world. But when you are insecure, your doubts devour you, they usurp your mind and stamp the light out of every corner. They wail and screech and pound their fists against the walls of your skull like a child throwing a tantrum. They lurk in the shadows they've created, whispering destructive thoughts to you in the quiet moments when all you want to do is to sleep, to think. That glass you dropped this morning becomes a sign that you really can't do anything right, can you? The gazes of strangers become tense judgments of your every move, you become conscious of the way you walk, the way you breathe. The paranoia sets in, because you never know when you'll screw up again, when you'll give them yet another reason to think less of you.

Your rationale rattles the bars of its cage, crying out that there is nothing wrong with you, that it's all a sick game in your head. But that one tiny voice is drowned by the million others. The cackling taunts, the threats, the reminders of every single thing you have ever been ashamed to admit. It's all you can hear, it's all you can think, it becomes all that you believe yourself to be. Your entire perception is clouded by this false image of yourself, and all you can see is that everyone else appears to be whole and going about their lives while the very fabric of your being is ripping at the seams.

Insecurities do not just make you doubt yourself, the very nature of the word makes them so all-consuming. Insecurities are insecure about themselves, they need to make themselves known. Confidence knows it is your one hope, it knows it holds the key to freeing yourself from the cage and fighting off the demons that have taken residence in your mind. It has no need to announce itself. This is why the confident may find peace. But the insecure....that is its own little circle of hell.